How to Talk About Money

Northwestern Mutual’s 2025 Consumer Sentiment Survey confirms that Americans don’t like to talk about money. But doing so can improve our lives.

In an era of oversharing, money remains a forbidden topic. From holidays with the family to dinner with friends or lunch with colleagues, people avoid discussing money at all costs. Our latest Consumer Sentiment Survey, a nationally representative online poll of 2,511 adults conducted in November 2025, found that money is the most forbidden topic during social gatherings.

When it comes to money talk, most people go mum. In our study, 60 percent of all respondents said they would avoid talking about money with friends and extended family—even over sensitive topics such as political beliefs, love life and religion.

Age matters, too: Talking about money is easiest for adult Gen Z respondents (ages 18–28), with only half saying they won’t break the silence on finances. Slightly more millennials (ages 29–44) won’t talk about money in social gatherings (55 percent) and even more Gen Xers (ages 45–60) (61 percent). But nearly seven in 10 boomers (ages 61–79) want to avoid money chat at all costs, which can be a source of tension if grown children move back home.

Yet despite the strong reluctance to discuss finances among friends, co-workers and extended family, some sharing can bring peace of mind in difficult times. Research finds that talking about money can reduce financial worries and even help you manage money better. Read on to learn why it works and how to feel at ease when talking about money.

How to start the conversation

It can be hard to begin talking about money. First, let’s bust some of the myths around money talk.

Talking about money is rude

This social taboo is thought to have originated in upper-class British society, partly because people’s accents and noble titles made their wealth clear; talking about it could seem like bragging. Now it’s common across all income groups.

Money can be a status symbol as well as a basic resource, so it’s not surprising that it triggers strong emotions. But talking about finances among friends shouldn’t be any different than chatting about your kids or pets; as long as you don’t monopolize the conversation with your own issues, it can feel good to share.

You’ll be judged by others

Friends like you for who you are, not for how much money you have. What’s more, your friends, co-workers and relatives are likely experiencing similar challenges.

You’ll get in trouble at work

There are good reasons why employers sometimes discourage sharing paycheck information with colleagues; after all, you may have received a merit pay raise or bonus that a colleague didn’t. But that leaves plenty of room for conversations with co-workers about subjects like how to manage common benefits, such as health insurance and retirement accounts.

Moreover, 16 states and the District of Columbia currently have pay transparency laws designed to curtail pay differences based on gender, race or other qualifiers. They generally require employers to disclose pay ranges to job candidates and even current employees on request. Where such laws exist, your paycheck isn’t a big secret—and talking about it shouldn’t be a cause for concern with your boss.

Why talk about money?

Once you get beyond the common stigmas around money talk, you’ll find many advantages.

Sharing honest concerns about spending and saving can yield tips on ways to manage money, boost self-confidence (it’s not just you) and avoid costly mistakes. For example, you might start conversations about:

• Budgeting. Share ideas with friends on how to cut back on spending.

• Saving. Learn new ways to set aside money for emergencies, a home down payment or retirement.

• Investing. Hear sound advice from trusted peers on investment choices and portfolio allocation that over time can potentially grow your nest egg.

• Negotiating. Learn from colleagues how to ask for raises, bonus packages and other benefits.

Beyond practical advice, talking about money reduces stress and breeds confidence. Research on this topic has been super-charged by the advent of platforms like Reddit, where people can share intimate financial concerns (such as how to save for a home down payment) with strangers, anonymously.

Last year, a comprehensive academic study of personal finance chatrooms used natural language processing to determine that participants who shared personal financial details with strangers became more confident and empowered in their own financial decisions.

The researchers concluded that talking about money with others encouraged people to organize their random thoughts into narratives. These more focused stories gave them a sense of control.

Other research has shown that feeling in financial control reduces financial anxiety. And getting a better hold on your finances can help you manage the impact of money challenges.

Getting beyond embarrassment

Of course, talking about money with friends and relatives can be harder than writing anonymous online posts. But being more personal makes it even more productive. Much like psychotherapy, a primary goal in talking about money—whether with friends, relatives, colleagues or a financial advisor—is recognizing patterns and habits that you may not have been aware of and feeling empowered to act on them.

Besides improving your financial well-being, being more transparent about your finances builds stronger relationships in your life. Let’s look at ways to get started.

• Don’t assume your friends know your budget or disposable income. And don’t assume their budget and spending priorities are the same as yours, even though they may earn roughly the same as you.

• To avoid getting roped into social gatherings you can’t afford, take the lead on organizing get-togethers around less expensive or free activities like picnics in a park or a hike in the woods.

• Consider “loud budgeting,” which involves sharing openly with friends and family that you’re on a budget. It’s easier if you make it positive: “We’re saving for XYZ.” This gives you permission to say no to high-pressure spending you can’t afford—like that expensive getaway with friends.

• Also consider enlisting a friend, relative or co-worker as an “accountability buddy.” Set a financial goal—perhaps no impulse purchases for a month or saving a specific amount for a vacation—and then make dates to meet and discuss progress. It’s harder to regress knowing someone else is paying attention.

• Be sure to make your money conversations two-way—sharing is about listening, too.

Talking about money doesn’t have to be hard

Listening is what we do best. Your Northwestern Mutual advisor won’t just prescribe a to-do list for you. They will actively listen to your concerns and help you take control of your finances.